10 Things I learned in my First Year of Marriage!
First year of marriage is the hardest. Girl has to be very cautious in regard to selection of words and the tone she is using. Everything is being noticed. All the eyes are at you. You have a new set of social obligations to perform. You have new schedule and timings. Forget those late night movie programs and conference calls on phone with friends and get to the real world of responsibilities.
I am not trying to instill any horrifying scene of marriage inside you. But one should know the facts. Before marriage, we consider ourselves pretty good at making decisions, everything goes smooth But this new phase of life tells us reality that No, you are not the one asked to make decisions, You are the one to follow what has been decided. There are big adjustment issues but once everything is settled, this new home is your ultimate heaven.
WHAT I LEARNED ?
1. AVOID EXCESSIVE TALK.
Being talkative and bold is not bad at all. Infact even here in Pakistan, families now have become liberal and appreciate confident girls. But rules are different for a newly wed. Girl should keep her chatter box quiet for few months. Silence would be the best thing to practice. One day she would acknowledge that this was the most wise decision she made. Yes! If something is being asked, respond confidently. Don’t make gossips on your own.
You are new to the family and your too much talk can portray you as someone taking over their empire which they built with efforts of years and years.
2. AVOID CLASH.
First year is the difficult one woman has to pass. Have control on your wisdom and scholarly words. Your husband might not need any suggestions and opinions. So try your best to avoid being argumentative.
3. BEHAVE AS YOU ARE STILL LEARNING.
Even if you are good at something be it cooking. Don’t react like you know everything and you master it. Behave as you are still learning and there is always a room for improvement according to you. It would create an optimistic opinion about you in their heads. Ask your Mother-In-Law how she cooks. Discuss your recipe and try to engage with her in positive manner.
4. SMILE MUCH.
Smiling face is a solution to many problems. Your new family will have positive predictions about you.
5. LEARN TO SAY “OKAY”.
Many of the time you would see wrong things happening. Even you would have to give gestures like “Okay” “As you say” “Yes boss” with worse feeling. But your betterment lies in this.
6. REMEMBER GOD. PRAY MUCH.
It is the only God who will not tell anyone what circumstances you are suffering from, will help you and would not even demand anything in return. If you will go to any other human for advice, explaining him your story, your situation to seek help, there is a chance that he would expose you and will take advantage of your weakness. Ask God for help. Seek forgiveness. Talk to him. Ask him to show you the right path. How to be everyone’s favourite? You will find peace of mind and best things in life will happen.
7. POSITIVE TONE.
Focus on your tone which needs to be Calm, lively, mirthful, modest yet confident!
8. REFRESHED MOOD.
Bring Gratefulness in your mood. Your attitude should be welcoming, warming and rejuvenated towards others.
9. CONTROL ANGER.
Words once gone, never come back. Try to be silent rather quoting wrong things wrong way in wrong situation.
10. BE LOYAL TO HUSBAND.
Fights are normal in couples. In Pakistan, there is a culture to live together, and according to me, it is an appreciable trend. Why? Because even if couples are quarreling, they have this fear in their minds What if someone would listen so it is utmost effort of every couple that they don’t raise their voice that others notice. Although sometimes fight gets bigger, wife should never expose her husband to others. And husband should not degrade her infront of anyone. Both of the partners shoud remain loyal. Other family members should not interfere in the matter too. Things will settle soon.
WHAT HUSBANDS SHOULD LEARN.
I totally negate the cocept of girls always moulding themselves. Today men also have learned how to survive relationships. Even if they have to make compromises, they do. But first attempt has to be done by women. If man has a feeling that his woman is faithful and is always there as a support for him and she makes sacrifices, do not argue when he is angry, remains silent when he is not in a good mood. Men also try their best to survive relation. Few examples I have seen who remain in their ego and status issues. I don’t understand what kind of attitude it is. They should learn to:
- MAINTAIN BALANCE BETWEEN MOTHER, SISTER AND WIFE.
- STOP BEHAVING AS A SUPERIOR SOUL.
- ENCOURAGING ATTITUDE TOWARDS WIFE.
- CONSIDER WIFE A FRIEND NOT A SERVANT.
- FORGIVING NATURE.
Most of my readers will agree to the points I raised, let me know in comment section below. I would really appreciate your participation! Do mention, Was your First year of marriage the hardest one and how you feel after everything got settled? So that the girls would have positive outlook towards marriage life ☺