Reasons Why a woman should compromise to stay in marriage for kids
A marriage is an alliance of two human beings belonging to opposite genders so that they can satisfy each other’s financial, physical, psychological as well as societal needs. The bonded souls are believed to carry out their allotted jobs systematically in order to move with a society in a well-adjusted, matured and cherished way. Marriage is considered an obligatory act in majority of the cultures to give recognition to an individual and also to nominate him as a socially accepted human being. It is an awesome gift presented by God to His creation and is that valid and legitimate relationship whose license cannot be challenged in any court.
As a car cannot be driven with its punctured wheel, likely marriage also gets paralyzed by the defective performance of one spouse. The continuous disregard can easily give way to a collapsed marriage. In some cases coupling dissolve at a very early stage of a new beginning and on the other hand, it shatters after passing a long time with each other. The pivotal reasons of an unsuccessful marriage could be lack of equilibrium, calmness, understanding, compatibility and in some cases, severe interferences from outside sources.
A marriage disintegrates leaving behind not only frustrated partners but most importantly, the depressed kids. Yes the kids. The kids, who are going to be the future establishers, have fresh minds with attractive and creative ideas and have vast scope in their futures. These kids find their lives a continuous dilemma as a result of regretful affiliation of their parents. I don’t understand that how parents could be so mean and selfish. How can they ignore their children’s mental, social and financial well-being while taking a stern and extreme decision? This depicts their self-obsessed behavior.
For the sake of their children, either parent must accommodate with the other. In Pakistani society, mostly women are supposed to make adjustments for the welfare of little ones and this is no more a wrong decision. God has bestowed mother with heaven under her feet and this is not as simple as it seems. Mothers are the one who have to surrender thousands of times while ignoring their ego and prioritizing their children. There are various reasons that require a mother to self-sacrifice in order to prevent her young ones from falling in a gloom. Broken marriages make children mentally unstable.
Lets see how could this effect children:
- A child faces rejection by his peer group. He gets socially blacklisted for being the kid of a divorced mother. His friends gossip about him, pinpoint him and usually make fun of him. This makes him immensely ill-natured and hostile. His social strategies start to disappear and he restrains himself to home. This play an eminent role in negatively affecting his cognitive health.
- A youngster indulges in inferiority complex. He finds himself imperfect and miss-fit in random situations. He gets particularly dissatisfied with his life when he sees other complete families and kids enjoying and giggling with their both parents at several public places. He severely feels a blank in his family even though his single parent puts utmost effort to play roles of both mother and father but a natural gap always remain there.
- God has appointed male to earn for kids and to furnish them with comfortable house, best clothing and with healthy and wholesome food. On the other hand, woman is charged with the duty to convert that house into home. She is authoritative for communal and intellectual up-bringing of her off springs. When system goes wrong and either parent has to manage and conduct all sorts of chores without any partnership, nothing seems to be accomplished completely. If a child achieves success in education, he might lack behind in moralities. Ultimately, a blank always exist there. Kids are the eventual sufferers. In order to make children, the most dynamic members either parent must compromise for the benefit of their young ones. In the Pakistani society, mothers are acquired to put aside their self-respect for the good of their kids and in most cases they do so. They ruin their worthwhile lives with an incompatible partner to prevent their kids from being rusted.
- Joint family systems are substantially widespread in Pakistani societies. Sometimes parents are highly laboured with their jobs and also with quarreling and exaggerating issues with each other that they do not notice little ones who are continuously spoiled by their negligence. Both mother and father remain indulged in their own depression and anxiety that they even forget their kids. In such circumstances grandparents’ roles are remarkable. They are the one who console children and educate them with moral and ethical values besides schooling. In a smashed family, kiddos also lose their grandparents along with other gems.
- Proposals for adults of divorced parents also get rejected. Well-reputed and noble families do not prefer to tie-up with a single parent divorced family. Off springs of legally separated parents are reviewed as having weak personality traits and diverse mental and financial defects. They are assumed to behave like their parents in their marital relations. This kind of behavior by social figures again unfold their agony of being a part of an under privileged family. The puzzle of their lives continues without any dramatic solution.
- Insufficient attention paid by single guardian also gives way to indulge in any kind of illegal activity. Either they start using drugs to escape from their distress or get involved in stealing activity for the sake of money. In both the manners they become simply useless or harming members forming themselves as a burden on society. As they receive lesser consideration or you can say no compliments from their single parent, they get involved in flirts and associate with other boys or girls. These kinds of relations are strictly forbidden in Islam and are stated illegitimate by the society as well. An unsettled family deteriorates child personality in a longer run.
- Most importantly, education is highly effected. Kids face abrupt fall of grades when they sense tortured atmosphere in the house. Routine quarrels accompanied with longer arguments and physical abuse become trauma for kids and they fail to focus on their academic career. Continuous disputes followed by final separation hurts them and they sometimes consider themselves a reason behind divorce. With deep guilt and filled with extreme pain they find it worthless to emphasis and concentrate on their course related projects and assignments.
- Divorce among parents diminishes the trust of children over relations. They develop uncertainty over the feeling of love and observe every relation with a critical eye. They lose their confidence over the beautiful feelings of care, support and guidance and start to recognize selfishness of their parents. They will not consider marriage a beautiful part of life and will predict it a wrong deed. They start to consider themselves minute creatures that were easily suppressed by the self-esteem of their parents.
- After the process of nine months’ pregnancy and with the delivery of a valuable gift by God, a woman realizes the real meaning of motherhood. She lay aside her all particular issues and her baby becomes the utmost priority. She cannot even think to hurt her child for her personal benefit no matter what the situation is. She resigns from all the comforts of her life for good health, happiness and prosperity of the kid. With unlimited duty hours, she strives hard to prove herself a devoted mother, not only devoted but also the mother of a successful child as well. On the other hand, father also wishes to facilitate his child in every possible manner and for this he tries to explore new sources of income. With coordination and understanding, both parents play their supportive roles.
- In Pakistani society, men are considered superior than women, although the concept is changing but is still highly prevalent. Men assume that their role in child birth is restricted to just gaining pleasure and nothing more. In highly backward areas, husbands force their wives to have lot of kids without thinking of their upbringing. They are allowed to enjoy extra marital relations as well but their wives are restricted to four-walled houses. They do not believe themselves to compromise for the welfare of their young ones. Only women are required to adjust in any kind of conditions even if they are troublesome and awkward.
- And women are not ashamed of compromising. They are strong and bold enough to fight with unreasonable situations. Men try to make kids the greatest weakness for their wives but in actual women make them their bigger strength. They adapt themselves accordingly and dedicate their whole lives for the betterment of their little ones. They face criticism and bitter views from in-laws but do not give up the mission of their lives.
If in extreme cases they find divorce a better decision for the good of their off-springs, they immediately do so.
- In Pakistan, a woman is now passionate, rugged and profound enough that she can well educate her young ones and up skill their moralities without the help of any external power except Almighty Allah.